I Am Biodegradable - My Writing Is Not
I Am Biodegradable - My Writing Is Not
My dad was wrong. I just discovered that I am good for nuthin’ after all. In fact I’ve been good for nuthin’ all along. I am 100% biodegradable and that means I can be recycled into nuthin’. It also means that irs refund mailing dates no matter how much I waste, no matter how much I consume, no matter how much I pollute, in the end I am environment-friendly. Best of all, I now have an end use.
Now that’s something to put on my resume!
This comes as particularly good news to somebody who is not sure what his purpose is. Sometimes I write these humor columns, pretending to be funny. Sometimes people even laugh, and I worry that it might be the start of an ominous trend.
Sometimes I am format pidato selling my happiness book, pretending to be a successful author. With 2,000 copies of my book keeping the floor from floating upwards, perhaps I AM successful. Levitating floors are generally not sample letter for a certificate considered signs of success in this part of the country.
Sometimes I am optimizing websites for search engine rankings. “What exactly does that mean?” I am often asked.
“Well…it means that I get my clients’ site high up in the searches.” Blank stare.
I try
again. “It means that I help Google show you Манипуляторы my clients’ web sites. Blank stare.
“Well…I’m not sure how to explain it. But I get paid to do it.” People understand that.
“I turn on a machine that defluctuates the turbo-rotating modulator down at the spare parts plant,” someone adds.
“What exactly does that mean?” I ask.
“Beats me. But I get paid to do it.” We are soulmates.
Sometimes I write for pay, because people seem to want something written. They hope that if they can’t say it themselves, I might be able to find just the right words.
“C’mon, David. You have lots of words. Why don’t you lend me some? Why, just last week you Non government organizations in the philippines job vacancies promised to ‘defenestrate’ me, whatever that means.” They want me to put their thoughts into words, and occasionally they want me to create their thoughts. I worked for a politician years ago. I vaguely remember how to write somebody else’s thoughts before he knew he had them.
“So what do you write?”
“Web site copy, mostly.”
“Really? Not another book?”
“No, I still have 2,000 copies of the last book piled up in my office.”
“I’m sure they’ll sell quickly, David.”
“Really? Want one?”
“Uh…gotta go. It’s time for my pet goldfish’s nap.”
I also write this humor column faithfully every week. But people wausau commercial real estate actually PAY me to write website copy. Now, dear reader, answer me this question. Would craig's list for data entry you rather be reading this hilarious column, loaded with frosting and topped with chocolate syrup, or would you rather read plain vanilla website copy.
OK, go ahead and read the website copy, then. See if I care.
One thing my website copy and this column have in common is that they are not biodegradable. Remember how computers would save the environment as they replace the three gazillion tones of cashing 401k for financial hardship tax benefits paper we Проекторы trash every few hours in offices around the world and elsewhere?
Now we discover that all that paper at least was biodegradable, recyclable, reusable. It wasn’t all that bad for the environment, after all. But the monitor you are reading this on will last forever. (SFX: evil laughter) Adventure seekers from the planet Zorgoppppt will land here in the year 2304 and discover all these abandoned monitors scattered around.
One Zorgopppptian will say to the other, “prrg, ddyte h hthp oooo djudu” (Translation: “Groovy paper weights!”)
But they won’t find funeral cars for sale in atlanta me, thanks to my lifetime achievement. I’ll be long gone, because I am (chest swells with pride) biodegradable.
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About The Author David Leonhardt is biodegradable and happy at: http://www.thehappyguy.com He is author of Inspiration & Motivation To Go: http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.php The Get Happy Workbook: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-work-book.html and Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html To write your website copy, newsletter or award winning biodegradable cereal box copy, email him at: Info@thehappyguy.com |
A Stock Market Timing Secret Revealed
Relative Strength Index (RSI) is a well known and much used momentum indicator. It was invented by J. Welles Wilder Jr., a great technical analyst.
RSI compares the magnitude of a stock or index’s recent gains to the magnitude of it’s recent losses and that information is turned into a number that ranges from 0 to 100. A single parameter is used, the number of time periods for the calculation. 14 periods is recommended by Wilder.
Common practical use of RSI in stock market timing is to measure the underlying strength of the market and samle job application letter for nurses to determine if it’s getting overbought or oversold. Wilder’s own recommendation was to use 70 and 30 levels, to indicate an overbought and oversold market, respectively. If RSI rises above 30 it’s considered bullish for the stock or index. If the RSI falls below 70, it’s a bearish sign.
Bullish & Bearish Divergences
Stronger buy and sell signals can also be generated by looking for positive and negative divergences between the RSI and underlying prices. For example, a falling market index whose RSI instead rises from a low point of 10 and back up to above 50. The underlying index will often reverse it’s direction soon after such a divergence. Divergences that occur after an overbought or oversold reading, usually gives more reliable signals.
Center Line Break
A bullish or bearish indication is given with readings above and below the 50 level. A reading above this center line indicates that average gains are higher than average losses. A reading below 50 indicates that bears are winning the fight. For confirmation of bullish and bearish signals, some traders look for moves above and below 50, respectively.
Below is the author’s special indicator combination and settings, for short & medium term stock market timing.
Daily Chart:
- 200 ema (exponential moving average)
- 89 ema (closing prices used for both ema calculations)
- RSI set at 25 periods with horizontal lines at 60 and 40
Weekly Chart:
- Walter Bressert’s Cycle10 plotted with horizontal lines set at 70 and 40
- MACD plotted with Signal Time Periods set at 5
By the use of a 25 period RSI on a